Things I want to say
Staying Married, Staying Happy
Published on February 12, 2010 By charliemama In Marriage

Been thinking a lot about marriage lately. Of course with me it has to be the positive side of things, so naturally I'm only going to say the good stuff. I do think about negative things, though. Like, why do marriages fail?

We could make a list. At the top of mine would be things like drinking alcohol, which is such a gamble anyway, and the odds are not on you. Alcohol makes you behave in such a stupid way, and then prevents you from changing for the better. My mother-in-law drank a lot; she ruined her health, was a stranger to the truth, and kidded herself about just about everything, including the reasons for her many illnesses. I find that lots of people do this. In fact, lots of people lie, too. Drinking alcohol will just about guarantee that you won't be able to grow and improve in this life. It's a destroyer. But drinkers, almost to a man, will insist that those who avoid alcohol are just babies; that "drinking responsibly" is the mark of a mature adult in this society. I don't think so. You all are just making fools of yourselves.

As far as marriage and drinking are concerned, lying, refusing to take responsibility for your mistakes, not resolving disagreements, selfishness, and addiction behavior are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to failures. Before you know it, your mate can't trust you and you don't care. Another statistic; another divorce. And you go on drinking, to drown your sorrows and solve nothing.

Next on my list would be believing the Lie. You know the one. You have to take care of yourself in this life; you come first; you can't love anyone else until you love yourself. If you rely on another person too much, you're co-dependent. Whatever happened to "they twain shall become one flesh"? What about giving the "final, total damn" about someone, and having them give the"final, total damn" about you? What about "happily ever after?" Too idealistic for ya? If so, why, after all these thousands of years, are we still reaching for the gold ring- and then tossing it into the gutter on the way home? We ignore the great joy we could've had in exchange for loneliness. All because we're afraid to give our hearts completely. We're believing the Lie.

Third on the list. Behave yourself. Keep your Covenants, the vows you make. A good marriage begs the question: Are you willing to do what you should do, married or single, to realize the rewards of a happy life? Love one another. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Keep the Commandments. There are more than just ten, and they are all given to make us happy! In fact, you can't break the commandments at all- you just break yourself against them. Say "I'm sorry." And "please" and "thank you". Be kind. Forgive. Remember-" pride goeth before a fall," so, "be thou humble." There's a reason for all of these old sayings- they're TRUE!

Inside the front door of our house, amidst all the family photos there, is a placque with these words painted on it: "A Loving Heart is the Truest Wisdom." It's all very well to have the fancy education, the money, the looks, and the superior attitude, but at the end of the day, its LOVE that counts. And, as they say, you can take that to the bank.

Finally, a personal note. A pet peeve, really. Get rid of the nasty language, (yes, I do mean the f-word, the s-word, the vulgar and the mean), the grumpy attitude, the constant sarcasm. Yes, I know the world is a lousy place and we all get a bit weary of it but ...there's nothing better than a soft word, a little affection, a smile and a reassuring pat on the back. The people I admire most in the world are the cheerful ones, the happy ones, the ones that make me think there's hope after all. I'd like to be one of those people. I'd like to be married to one (actually, I am!) I'd like my children to be optimistic. I'd like to think that I could spread sunshine wherever I go. It all sounds a bit Pollyanna-ish, but then again, why can't the world be made into a better place? Who couldn't benefit from a little more good behavior?

I'm not ignorant of the World's troubles, and I' ve even had a few of my own- not to mention caused some also. But I'm trying. I ask God every day to help me be a better person. He listens to all of us; He wants us to be happy; and if we're married, to be happily married.. He loves us.

Cheer up! Remember why you fell in love in the first place and fall in love again, and again, as many times as it takes,' till you fall no more out!

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