A few years ago I was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease.  I had been having a few strange but mild symptoms like- I was unable to make my handwriting "flow" and it was getting smaller and smaller.  My right leg and arm were q little stiff and unstable.  I didn't have a tremor; (I still don't).  I went to see two Parkinson's specialists (neurologists) and over the course of the next few years of treatment, my symptoms were annoying at worst.  Then suddenly one summer I began to have a lot of trouble walkng.  I take meds still, but they wear off, and  it's getting extremely hard to know reliably whether I'm going to be "walking" or not at any given time....I try anything to be able to do all the regular things we've always done, but it's getting harder and harder.  I very much fear that BFD will not see me the same way he always has, but so far I see no evidence that his feelings have changed... if anything, they have intensified.  

After a few years to get used to the situation, I took part in a gene study where it was determined that I do not have "conventional'

PD  but "atypical" PD or "Parkinsonism".(Hence the absence of a tremor, among other things).  I also experience a little trouble with balance and a bit of anxiety.  Since troubles seem to come in threes, I am also diabetic (type 2) and have arthritis in my neck which causes a great deal of pain in my arms and hands.  I don't get much sleep and of course I don't like to be left alone.  

So BFD has to babysit me.  Not that I mind, but sometimes I think that he gets a little stir crazy.  He's always been very good to me, though, and that hasn't changed.  He is diabetic, too; and has back trouble, sooo...He is nearly 63 and I am 61.  We have been married for 42 years, raised 5 children and are enjoying 13 grandchildren.  But we are always the same age inside- 18 and 20 when we met and fell in love.  Young at heart!

When I was diagnosed, I decided to start sewing again.  I used to sew a lot when I was young (every summer I would make my own school clothes, etc).  Then I got busy raising kids and didn't sew much for years, although I did try to polish my skills when I did sew.  Now with an empty nest and lots of time on my hands, I can sew a lot.  Clothes for myself, and others, quilts, kids' dresses and toys, decorator items like pillows and curtains.  Also, I contribute to nursing homes and children's shelters.  I want to do as much as I can before I can't anymore.  I've got nine granddaughters and four grandsons to sew for, and I'd like to sell some quilts.  I am grateful to God who has let me continue with this talent and still do a fair job, when other talents have faded.  That is my "daily" life.  

But I have another life, a better one.  I don't really know how to express myself about BFD.  I love him very much, but sometimes it falls a bit short and sounds a bit flat when I say it out loud or write the words down.  So we have a secret message that we write to each other sometimes.  No, I am not revealing it here, it is a secret!  It seems a bit corny to claim that you still love someone after forty-two years together, but so what?  I do.

Sometimes I look in the mirror and wonder, "Who is that?"  I don't look at all like the girl who married BFD.  (And I must say, he wasn't BFD then. He weighed about 145 and wasn't a Daddy!)  I was a skinny young girl then, who didn't have much of a personality; but I was desperate that he should marry me, and I think I would've done almost anything to make it happen.  I was so afraid he would dump me!  But one morning in early October 1967 he called me from CA (I was in AZ) and asked me to fly out that day.  I did, and arrived on an earlier plane than he expected- did I seem a bit over-anxious?  I guess it didn't matter, because as soon as we got to the car, he said, "Let's get married."  I said "OK."  And we did- 4 days later.  We had known each other six months.  

Ask me if I believe in getting married young.  Yes.  Ask me if I believe in short engagements.  Yes.  Ask me if I believe in love.  Yes!

There are 'way too many supposedly "wise" pieces of advice floating around out there, like "Don't get married before you're 30" or "You have to love yourself before you can love someone else" (what does that mean?)  Failures in marriage are not rhe result of getting married when you're 18 but are mainly a  matter of pride and selfishness.  I guess it helps if you have a good example to follow, but neither I or my Handsome Prince had that advantage.  We just got married and- oh, here's the secret, or at least part of the secret.  We put our marriage first, and we kept the vow that says: "Love."  Most of the problems we had came from other places outside our marriage; we just tried to face them together.  We were a team, and we belonged to one another.  Did we always agree?  No.  But we lived happily ever after, and we are still clinging to one another after all these years.  Co-dependent as all get-out.  Happy as clams.  

Back then I knew instinctively that  life is better when you've got somebody to love and I am even more convinced of it today.  It's more than better- it's magic.  It's exponentially magical.  It's not very fashionable to quote scripture in these days, but it's right there in Genesis:  "It's not good for man (or woman) to be alone."  What's right is right, and there's not much getting around it.  They have a saying in show biz:  "Don't fuss.  Say the words.  Take the money. Go home."  Here's my advice:  "Don't fuss.  Behave yourself.  Be of good cheer. Love always."  Recently my cousin sent me another saying:  "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass; it's about learning to dance in the rain."  Because there's plenty to complain about in this old world, and you can nag at your spouse if you wish; but then you'll  miss all the fun.